The 12 Kinds Of People You Shouldn't Date!
I know that sometimes
we wish we had someone who could advise us on who to date and who not to date;
although some of us may have this. So as teenagers we tend to experiment with
our emotions by just throwing ourselves headlong into the love scene. For this
reason, from my observation, I have come to a conclusion that 69% of all the
heart breaks that happen in the world affect teenagers. We are the most
susceptible species to emotional trauma due to poor judgement in picking our
dating partners. Most of us are extremely eager to start dating because most of
our friends are doing it so most times we tend to just ‘date anyone’. That’s
not healthy emotionally. If you want to enjoy your relationships, there is a
set of people you should always stay away from. I will go into details in just
a bit.
1. The Player
2. The Emotionless
3. The Flirt
4. The ‘Commitmentophobe’
5. The Workaholic
6. The Monk/Nun
7. The Nerd
8. The Egocentric
9. The Drama Queen
10. The Gold Digger
11. The Pervert
12. The Thomas
THE PLAYER
This person is someone
who has perfected the art of seduction. A professional player, can seduce you
with just a look. Players who succeed in deceiving their victims did not start
surveying you the instant they saw you, always remember that. For these people
to pull off their scheme, they study their prey for quite a while. He
understands your emotional makeup: the things you like and the things you
don’t. That’s why they always seem to push the right buttons. He doesn’t say
things straight, everything he says or does is suggestive of what could be.
Simply the way he walks and talks suggests two things—sex or romance. Once he
gets either, he’s gone! Some players now use their skills to obtain money from
their preys. Once you have a guy or a girl who seems too nice, chivalrous,
perfect, please give him/her a second look.
THE
EMOTIONLESS
This is the person
that embodies everything we do not want in a relationship. This person could
offend you and still expect you to apologize. Yes, seriously. This person would
only seem emotionally attached when the relationship is still in its early
stages. After a while, say three months, you’ll begin to see the manifestation
of the true emotionless self. To identify these people, look at the way they
treat their childhood friends and family. Are they estranged from any member of
his/her family? These are the clues you should look out for.
THE FLIRT
A flirt is simply
someone who enjoys arousing sexual feelings in people, most times, without
having any intention of getting sexually involved. Believe me when I say that
close to 90% of all flirts are attractive people. It’s very easy for us to fall
in love with flirts because we misinterpret their subtle gestures of affection
for a display of love. In the long run, however, we would find out just how
wrong we were. Always try to look beyond the immediate charm of the flirt. The emotional
trauma associated with having relationships with flirts is simply inexplicable.
You would always feel cheated on, even if sometimes, your guess may be wrong.
When you are in a relationship, all those flirtatiousness should be directed
towards you. When that doesn’t happen (which is what happens when you date
bonafide flirts), the relationship becomes unstable due to the insecurity of
one party.
THE ‘COMMITMENTOPHOBE’
First, we should know
that ‘phobe’ relates to the word ‘phobia’ which means fear. The commitmentophobe
is one who is afraid of all forms of commitment. This kind of person would
stand you up if you invite him/her for a family reunion. Dating a commitmentophobe
would make you feel used, like you’re just something he/she does for pastime and
nothing more. Nobody wants to love someone that much and have ‘no strings
attached’. Please, you worth much more than that. Go for someone who would
appreciate you and would not be ashamed to show you off to the world.
THE WORKAHOLIC
Definitely, most
people find hardworking people attractive. However, it becomes a thing of major
concern when it’s the only thing that matters to you. Someone who cannot
balance work and still spend quality time with you doesn’t love you and, most
definitely, does not deserve you. As for us teens, there are some of us who are
entrepreneurs and already own several startups. Please learn to balance your
work time with your partner. Some of us may be dating these entrepreneurship- ,
business-minded teens; if they cannot create time for you, please leave. Their
work would not listen to them when they have issues they want to talk about,
their work would not be there to give them big hugs when things get dicey. Move
on!
THE MONK/NUN
Religion is very
important in the life of every teenager, trust me. I have had troubles,
dilemmas that no human could get me out of, but God. My religion is something I
do not play with. However, when we let our religiousness consume us to such a
degree that it transcends into fanaticism, we become free-living monks and
nuns. If your religion does not permit dating, then please don’t enter into it
in the first place. If you start dating and then back out all of a sudden to ‘focus’
on your ‘religious calling’, my friend, please join a monastery or a nunnery. It
feels so good dating someone who values his/her religion very much and still
values you, that s one of the greatest gifts of life. When it turns around such
that the person begins to care about only his/her religious activities, please
leave that relationship. However, do not enter into the relationship in the
first place. The first trick to find out if this person you like is a nun or a
monk, wait till your first date. If he/she asks to meet in a church or any
other religious place, my dear that’s one fine monk/nun you’ve got there.
THE NERD
Everyone loves smart
people. That was a very subjective statement, I know. But tell me, who wouldn’t
want to date that smart girl, or that smart guy? Very few, or even next to
nobody. Smart people are quite attractive people, but nerds are not. They
represent everything the phrase ‘social misfit’ talks about. The difference
between a smart person and a nerd is that the smart person has a high
intelligence quotient and is able to apply it in academics, life issues,
society, and relationships. The nerd on the other hand, only has the brains for
equations, complex programming codes (which are all gibberish if all the
electricity in the world goes off), etc. A nerd may even get you a textbook on Java
scripting for valentines. That’s just sick, unless you are a fellow nerd then
that’s cool. Look out to date smart people and not nerds. Dating a nerd would
only leave you emotionally unsatisfied, and physically needy…if you know what I
mean.
THE EGOCENTRIC
Please, this is the
worst of them all. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this word, an
egocentric person in simple language, is a self-centered person who has little
or no regards for the feelings or needs of others. How to detect these people?
1. If he/she does not ask you were you’d like to go for your first date. 2. If he
takes you shopping and doesn’t ask what you want. 3. If she only gets happy
when you buy her stuff. 4. If he/she is always reluctant to apologize. You
should be able to figure out the rest. These kinds of people would only stay in
the relationship if it favours them. You deserve better than that!
THE DRAMA QUEEN
This usually applies
to the females. We have a lot of girls today who are highly skilled in the
field of exaggeration. One tiny thing you may do, say you came to pick her up
late, would turn into a relationship-threatening situation. You don’t need to
have such people around you. Dating a drama queen would simply reduce your life
expectancy. Never date them. You could have them as friends, that’s cool. But if
you plan to live long, please stay away. And to the girls, you know that some
of us guys are becoming more and more effeminate as the years go by. Today we
now have male drama queens, please do stay away from them too.
THE GOLD DIGGER
The gold digger sticks
around for as long as the money is being supplied. Once the money ceases in
supply (but never in demand), the love felt dissolves with it. The gold digger
comes with the façade of wanting just ‘true love’, but in the end, we see what
he/she was truly after. As for the teenagers who come from humble backgrounds,
this does not affect you. As for those of you teens who come from wealthy,
aristocratic, and plutocratic families, this message is for you. Dating a gold
digger has never done anyone any good. Try to learn to see beyond the veil of
that seemingly perfect love affair. How to easily spot a gold digger? That person
who says “Let’s have our date at the mall”, that person who always needs money
from you to solve ‘personal problems’, that person who tells you how many
people he/she is owing, that person who only appreciates you when you buy
him/her expensive stuff or take him/her shopping. That’s the gold digger right
there.
THE PERVERT
A pervert is one with
no sexual discipline, full stop. The number one danger of dating a perv is that
you would never be able to satisfy that person or make him/her feel complete,
there would always be greener pastures ‘out there’ that, unfortunately, would
never be you. Always try to identify pervs, and stay away from them. The
pervert is usually a flirt, and is more often than not, promiscuous.
THE THOMAS
The use of the word ‘Thomas’
is metaphorical. It alludes to the disciple of Jesus, who doubted the
authenticity of the death and resurrection of Jesus by questioning his
identity. How does this relate? The key word here is ‘doubt’ which could also
mean ‘distrust’. The absence of trust in a relationship is the beginning of the
end of that relationship. A Thomas is one who doesn’t trust you, who finds it
difficult to believe you. There is always a reason for him/her to doubt your
actions and your motives. Dating such people would only make you even more
insecure about yourself as you may even start doubting yourself. Try to avoid Thomases
as much as possible, if he/she can’t trust you, he/she does not deserve to have
you.
So there you go, I came up with this post
through series of introspection, surveying, and recounting of past experiences,
and of course, movies! If you go through the entire twelve kinds of people you
would notice that in some way they are interrelated. Definitely, it’s
impossible to find that perfect person, but it is possible to find someone
close to perfect. Why not try it? If you have any questions or contributions,
please drop a comment!
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