The Secret Behind Pornography

14:08:00 Unknown 0 Comments

Hello Teens, It’s your favourite topic!
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I know this subject of pornography is no stranger to the world of teenagers out there. For those of you who may still claim naïve on this issue of pornography, lemme define this. Pornography is the display of nude, semi-nude, sexually-arousing images, videos, or even texts…yes even text! If you’re someone like me, by that I mean someone who grew up in the 21st century where anything can be gotten from the internet by just a few click of a few buttons, you would know that since the commencement of the internet era (i.e. post-1995) the use of pornography has become widespread.


teens and porn
I know that this is a very touchy subject as only about one out of twenty teenagers can attest to having never viewed porn. I am not writing this post to make you stop viewing porn (although that wouldn't be such a bad idea), I am writing this post to expose the secrets behind porn and help you reduce your viewing of porn and maintain healthy social and sexual lives.
The mistake that most parents make when they catch their teens viewing porn is to seize their electronic gadgets such as: laptops, mobile phones, ipads, tablets, etc. Honestly, it is high time someone told them that doing that has little or no effect on curbing our viewing of porn, most times it makes us even have a deeper craving for it. Once one has started viewing porn, depending on his or her psychological make-up, it is quite a task to cease. Therefore, the wisest thing that parents could do is to make sure that their teen does not make it an addiction. Definitely, it is no surprise that with the arrival of adolescence comes the desire to explore everything—good or bad. If the parents can counsel their teens, and make them see that their newly-found desires should not scare them but are evanescent things that should be curbed.

I guess we now know what porn is, it’s time to tell you what it does to you:
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It turns you into an addict. Everyone knows how addictive porn can be. Once one starts it is very difficult to stop. Therefore, you just want more and more of that stuff. This is just one of the bad things porn does to you.
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It turns you into a pervert. This is usually true because it’s like you’re trying to see that which you see on a 2D screen in 3D or rather, hi-definition, lol. This is very bad, because it would hamper your communication with people. You would tend to drift off during conversations because instead of focusing on the discussion, you’d be busy imagining the person nude or half-nude.
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It kills your social life. Most porn addicts have attested to having spent more time watching porn or simply visualizing porn scenes than actually having contact with people. That makes them sociopaths, sort of. You would rather spend thirty minutes watching a clip of hard-core porn than having a discussion with your friends, much less with family. This is what porn does to you.
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It makes your relationships last as long as it takes you to blink. Firstly, you would find it very difficult having relationships. It is a fact that most porn makers use picture-perfect girls and studs to feature in their porn wares. Therefore, when you’re looking for a partner, a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, you tend to look for someone who is picture-perfect, or rather, flawless. Let’s face it, there is virtually nobody who is without a flaw. Therefore, once you start a relationship with this hot girl, or guy, and you notice a flaw, the relationship is over. Porn never shows the real-life flaws of an individual such as that smelly mouth, or those gross armpits, those infected pubic region, they show you only one thang—flawless.
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It reduces your mental stability. The day before the Canadian survey appeared, a study came out in JAMA Psychiatry. Researchers had scanned the brains of porn users and found: 
1)     There was a correlation between time spent viewing porn and reduced grey matter in their brains' reward circuitry (which governs motivation and appetites).
2)     The reward circuitry, which lights up in response to sexual stimuli, showed less activation the more porn individuals had watched (both per week and over the years) even if they weren't addicted.
3)     The connection between the pre-frontal cortex, the "executive control" part of the brain, and the reward circuitry was weaker the more porn the users watched -- a risk for impaired decision making.
(Source: Huffingtonpost)
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It causes porn-induced erectile dysfunction. This usually occurs in porn addicts who view porn and masturbate simultaneously.
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It makes you insecure. Very few people are proud to admit that they view porn or have even ever viewed porn. Therefore, it always feels like there’s this big secret you’re hiding and you may even become paranoid about people going close to your gadgets as it would reveal what kind of stuff you view.

Having said all this, I hope I have revealed a few of the kind of stuff porn viewing does to us, teens. More often than not, it would give a sense of pleasure, but obviously, the disadvantages outnumber the advantages. The choice is yours, it’s you call. After reading this, you may choose to stop viewing porn or to simply reduce your viewing of porn, or you may even just close this page and continue in your old ways. Whichever you may choose, it’s your decision. As for me, I stopped viewing porn when I found out about all this sometime in January 2014.


If you have any questions or contributions to this, please drop a comment.

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Peer Pressure: The Murderer of Teenage Creativity

11:28:00 Unknown 0 Comments

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Hello there!
You might be a teenager reading this or you may be reading this out of curiosity or even boredom. You may be wondering, “Why does this dude always pick the most boring topics?” You may be right, but being a teenager, I believe that this cancer—peer pressure—has eaten deep into our lives today.
You may not fully understand what I'm talking about so lemme drive this point home. Remember that time when you put on those skinny jeans not because you liked them, but because most of your girl friends were doing so? That’s peer pressure. Remember that time you sat down to watch a soccer game, not because you’re a big fan of the game, but because you felt “guys are supposed to like soccer”? That’s also peer pressure.
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Peer pressure as I have found out is one of the major causes of teen suicides. Remember that scene in the American musical ‘Glee’ when the big husky guy attempted suicide because he revealed that he was gay and the entire high school wanted to swallow him? That’s also peer pressure. I our world today, peer pressure has gone beyond the archaic form of being manipulated to do things simply because your peers are doing the same. Peer pressure is now more subtle and targeted.
Who is most susceptible to being influenced by this devil—peer pressure?
1.      
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People who are not self-aware. Once someone has not achieved complete self-awareness (I would write another post on this topic to explain better), that person is an easy prey to being swayed by the turbulent currents of pressure from peers.
2.      

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People with insecurities. Never be insecure about anything that affects you. Be content with what you have. Never feel ashamed about any aspect of yourself. It is you, if people can’t accept you for you, then let them f*** off.
3.     

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  Egocentric people. I think I would rather call these group of people ‘proud people’. Pride has led a lot of us teenagers into doing a lot of things that we eventually regret.  We try to defend our fragile ego by trying to prove to our peer that ‘hey we can do this!’ This happens to us mainly through these Truth or Dare games we play. We try to prove to our friends that we are not chickens. That’s also peer pressure because we do not have any reason to prove anything to them all we need do is BE WHO WE ARE.


From my research, these are the most frequently manipulated kinds of people.
Lemme bore you a lil’ with a few statistics to buttress my point. It has been proven that:
  • 23% of teen girls feel pressured to have sex by their peers (Source—The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource);
  • 33% of teen boys between the ages of 15 and 17 feel pressured to have sex by their peers (Source—The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource);
  • 55% of teens say they tried drugs for the first time because they were pressured by their friends (Source—Foundation for a Drug-Free World);
  • 70% of teens who smoke said they tried it because they felt peer pressure from their friends (Source—Canadian Lung Association).


I'm so glad to be done with that. You see what you make me do? Browse for statistics. Cos I love you, my readers. Lol.
Okay, back to business:
How can you steer clear of peer pressure?
It’s simple.
  • 1.      Image result for self awareness Be self-aware. Know who you are. Know your strengths and your weaknesses. When you do this, no sucker can wake up one morning to define or manipulate you.
  • 2.      Image result for self confidence Be self-confident. This only comes when you are self-aware. After discovering who you are, be confident about the man in the mirror.
  • 3.    Image result for choose your friends wisely   Choose your friends carefully. Choose people who share the same dreams and visions as you to be your friends. As the saying goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”


Peer pressure however, must not always be bad.  There are also positive effects of peer pressure. For example, I started blogging because of peer pressure. I logged on to WhatsApp one day only to see one of my classmates send me a message to view his blog. I did so, and I was amazed at how someone’s thoughts and ideas could be made public for the world to see. I decided to start mine. At first I wanted to use it to portray the beauty of Africa for the whole world to see, but then I changed my mind. I decided to use it to touch the lives of teenagers like me who are out there wallowing in a lot of bulls#!+…I just wanted to change lives. So that’s my story.

Watch this video for more information on ways to get over peer pressure.

I hope you benefited from this article. Share your story with me on how peer pressure has affected you whether positively or negatively.


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Dare to Dream Big!

13:11:00 Unknown 0 Comments


I know you would be thinking "Oh yeah, another cliché?" however this is not another cliché. This is real life. We have all at some points in our lives watched fairy tales and stories of the impossible. When most people watch such movies, they see a utopian life, and I wouldn't say that they are wrong because obviously having dreams of someday sprouting a pair of wings and flying around Fairytopia is not the type of dreams BIG I mean.
By "dreaming big", I mean having a stupendously large goal or objective that you would love to achieve in life. Say you want to become the wealthiest man or woman who ever graced the Earth with servants at your beck and call; that's dreaming big in my book. However, in dreaming big, there are rules. 

RULE #1 - MAKE YOUR DREAMS CONSISTENT WITH YOUR PASSION
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We all have passions: that one thing that you do effortlessly being oblivious of the ticking of the clock; that one thing you care about so much that doing it gives you a lot of satisfaction and fulfilment. For example, someone whose passion is repairing spoilt stuff like electrical wares may have a dream of becoming the most successful engineer in his country. If he sticks to such a dream, since it is related in one way or the other with his passion, he would eventually realize this dream if he works hard and perseveres.

RULE #2 – CONCIEVE THE FULFILMENT OF YOUR DREAM IN YOUR MIND’S EYE
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I know that this rule may sound a little too psychological or more of theoretical than practical. However, it has been proven and tested. The human mind is one of the most powerful tools bequeathed to man by God. That is why most people say stuff like “Whatever you can conceive, believe and you will achieve it.”
The conception of the dream takes place in the mind. If every day, you visualize the materialization of this dream in your mind, the psychological law of attraction would begin to occur. That which is conceived repeatedly in the mind would begin to attract elements towards you that would help you make it a reality.

RULE #3 – SET UP A PLAN
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Whatever you have visualized, begin to put it into blueprint. To do this, you need three things: your current location (I do not mean geographical location), your desired destination, and your will. Firstly, you should have an idea of where you are at that point (self-awareness is rudimentary for this), then knowing where you want to get to, it would be your self-will that would guide you on setting up various routes to get to your destination.

RULE #4 – BE FLEXIBLE WITH YOUR PLANS
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As much as you may be totally certain of where you want to get to, never overlook the possibility of failure. For this reason, make sure to leave flexible areas in your blueprint; however, do not make the entire plan flexible, else you would simply be working so hard to get nowhere but moving in circles. If you have set up your destination, make sure to have several routes of getting there rather than limiting yourself to just one road that may have a 70-percent chance of failing. Always have a plan B!

RULE #5 – WORK, WORK WORK!!!
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Never relax after drawing up your plan. You would still need a lot of work to make your dream a reality. Try as much as possible to avoid distractions from achieving your dream. Always be open to advice from others, sometimes those pieces of advice would be what would keep you going. Never waste a second of the day with anything that does not bring you a step closer to achieving your drams. However, try to maintain a healthy social life because in our world today, introverts may not go far in business or in any other work of life because there is a constant inter-mingling of people, most times people who have the key to taking your dreams to the next level. You may come across a lot of difficulty, but keep pushing on. As the saying goes “Slow, but steady wins the race”. That does not mean you should go slowly, move at your own pace, it is better to be slow but steady than to go fast and then crash in the end.

RULE #6 – NEVER GIVE UP
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 I think this rule is self-explanatory. Never give up on your dreams. Nobody said it was going to be a smooth ride, although it is for some. Keep fighting for that dream of yours and with time, you shall see it materialize.









I hope this article has been of help to you. Drop your comments below, let me know what you think!

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